Wednesday, November 18, 2009

A shame of mine...

I might be facing a day of people breathing the smell of alcohol in my face as I assist lazy upperclass customers in the shop tomorrow..I am really not looking forward to it one bit!! I know I have complained about work and how I want to get a job but I feel like crap! I got a coldsore on my lip and it is so swollen that I look like a lip implant gone VERY wrong!!! I hate when people look at me as if I am a walking disease and by just looking at me they will catch whatever I carry. I have always said that I do not wish these coldsores for my worst enemies..that is how aweful they feel so I do not need people to make me feel even worse about it. There was a friend of mine who I spoke with about my coldsores and I told him that people tell me I have Herpes. He turned around, all serious, looked at me and said "sweetheart, you do not have Herpes, trust me I know. I have Herpes...around my eyes (dunno how it ended up there but that is what he said) and what you have are feverblisters aka coldsores. They may be a version of extremely light Herpes but I would not call what you have Herpes. So don't listen to the ignorant people out there". To hear him say that made me feel so good, up until that talk I had always been so ashamed when I would get a coldsore, I would think the world would go under!! Yes, it hurts. Yes, it dries out my lips because I am afraid of moisturizing them and end up licking the area where I have no blisters. Yes, I cannot kiss anyone while it is on my lip. Yes, I have to wash my hands constantly so it will not spread to any other part of my body. But it is not the end, I did not choose to get this. 80% of the worlds population carry this virus in them (what I have heard but I could be wrong about the numbers) so I am not alone. Funny thing is the reason it broke out on me was because in my culture when we meet relatives we kiss 3 times on the cheeks, right then left then right again (or other way around). This woman came up to me when I was a child and kissed me next to my lips. She had a blooming coldsore and transmitted it to me! So, thank you dear woman for making me go through all this pain, emotionally and physically, for the rest of my life. But not to sound to bitter I must say that the best reaction I have gotten must be from H. Everytime I get one and my lip swells up she begs me to "infect" her haha...She want to get a coldsore as well and have full lips. I love her because it makes me feel less ashamed but of course I would never give in haha and now it has become a thing to say...
Me: "Hey, H. I got a fat lip again"
H:"Oh, I want one too!! Gimme gimme...drink from my cup! Touch my lip! I wanna have a big sexy lip like yours" hahaha love that crazy chica!!
It was harder on me when I was a kid but it is getting a little easier as I have grown up, except for the morons that look at it and say: eeewww, that shit is so nasty!! It looks so disgusting, YUCK!! and so on...For all of you with the same condition please try your best not to spread it. It is up to us not to infect people that do not have it. Wash your hands every time you have touched it and do not kiss anyone, drink from another person's cup, eat from someone's utensils, and so on. I read not long ago about a mother who had just given birth to her child. The mother did not realize the coldsores she had could be damaging. She showered her child in kisses, as any other newly mother would, and infected the baby, which unfortunately lead to the child's death. The reason was that the child had not built up any immune system yet so the virus was too much to handle for that little body. This is of course a radical case but what I mean is to be careful not to spread it. And for all you other lucky people, try to be nice because we are in enough pain as it is and do not need you to rub it in our face! Now, I will listen to some classical piano music before going to bed. Until later beloved people, all you 80% and the remaining 20% haha

Enjoy the wonderful music...It takes my breath away and leaves a smile on my lips, a long lasting smile...Makes me wish I would have been stronger and never given up my piano lessons, not let the bullies win...maybe one day I shall learn how to play the piano...LOVE LOVE LOVE


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