Sunday, October 4, 2009
Make up your mind!
Hello all you wonderful people out there in the world. I have been sick for...I have lost the count of days..and it feels like it will never go away. Every day it is something new, today my ears wanted to join the protest my body has been on; not functioning. I honestly don't feel like 25 but 55. I think whatever I am having (the illness that is) is playing a trick on me. You might wonder why I am even sitting by the computer because it seems as though this illness is making me delusional but humor me for a minute. One day I feel so bad that thinking hurts, all I want to do is stay in bed..BUT, the next day, I feel like I am instantly getting better (like yesterday)! I get up and go with my dad and sister and buy TOO much candy. This is the interesting part, I go to sleep feeling like I am finally getting better only to wake up to feeling worse than the day I thought I was feeling bad. This illness is giving me false hope every day that passes. It acts as a guy giving mixed signals to a girl...my illness is giving me MIXED signals. Even my illness acts like a crappy dude!!
This is to universe; I understand that love may not be for me, or wealth, or any sort of success in the professional sphere, can't even land a job! I can accept that, but can I at least have my health? Is that too much to ask for? Am I too needy? Ugh, I don't know!! What I do know is that I should hit the sack before I fall down and won't be able to post this. Until later..maybe...(I know I know, drama queen!! But this only happens when I am really sick or when my illness gets me all confused so bear with me here on this one :P)