Sunday, September 27, 2009

I am here, FINALLY!

After waiting for 4 hours for a phone call while cursing, pacing, and change of heart several times, M texts me to say that she is on her way (for the third time). Her birthday was on Thursday so we were supposed to have dinner around 8 or 9 pm Saturday night. I started getting ready around 6 pm. I took my time and my dad said he will drive me even though we live like 10 mins away walking distance. But with my heels I knew it would take me 30 mins to get to our destination, Fridays. Finishing my makeup and hair AND getting dressed, I waited and waited and waited. I heared one excuse after the other and around 10.30 I was on my way. I was not in the mood of eating anything and also I knew I was not "dressed for success" haha..I met up with M and her friends and sat down for a late dinner. We were six beautiful women at our table which drew a lot of attention. As we headed out to go to M's boyfriend's bar we passed the heart of downtown Stockholm, Stureplan. It was a Saturday night and people had just got paid. All the bars and clubs were crowded. I looked around at the people walking all over and realized my "fear" of not fitting in was gone. When I grew up here I stood out from the crowd, brunette and brown eyed girl in the midst of posh, blonde, and blue eyed people. In my simple outfit I stood out from the crowd of mini skirts, dresses, and revealing tops but I was no longer afraid of not fitting in, instead I was happy I didn't look like the rest. I grew up feeling like the ugly duckling but I guess my confidence found the swan in me. I could walk with my head held high and think, "Who the fuck do you think you are to make me feel unwelcome! I was born here and I have as much right to be here!! This is not the last you will see of me! I will be back, you can bet on it!" I don't know why I always felt I did not belong out clubbing with all the posh people but I can remember the feeling every time someone asked me to go out, anxiety. I am happy I went out last night instead of letting my anger get the best of me. I overcame something that other people may not think is of importance but to me it has been a major obstacle to overcome and I FINALLY DID IT!!! The best feeling in the world is to know your own worth and especially when it is GOOD!! The best tip I can give is to take the time to get to know yourself and hopefully you will realize your true value, which I can tell you is most likely a positive thing. If you have any doubts about your own value take a look at yourself, inside and out, find one thing you think is beautiful and accentuate it. After a while when you have learned to love that part, find a new part and do the same. Keep doing this until you love every aspect of you, Your body, mind, and soul! You are unique and once you realize it nothing can stand in your way! The world will be at your feet haha!! Ok, now that I have been overchanneling Dr. Phil I am gonna take Nala out to get some exercise, for both of us. Until later sweet, and unique readers
Love yourself and the world will love you back

1 comment:

  1. After 15 years in Stockholm, I have yet to understand why "fitting in" with the inner-city Östermalm crowd is so highly coveted. They all look like clones, walk, talk and dress exactly the same. And often the "talk" part is way less intellectually stimulating than what you would find in any far-flung suburb (what do you expect of people that have never been outside Stureplan in their lifetime). However, anyone has the right to go to any club or bar they wish and be treated exactly like any other customer and feel no less than anyone else, and knowing you (or having known you...) I am certain that you have much more to offer, so GOOD FOR YOU! hugs