Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I am strong

I am assuming this is the song that is the follow up to "Moving On" by Sarah Dawn Finer, it is called "Standing Strong". She sings about when you have moved on and you feel strong even though you are on your own. I believe you learn from your mistakes so embrace every step you have taken and don't be afraid to take new steps, however you want to. Don't be afraid to make mistakes because they are a part of life and never regret a choice you have made. Look to the future and enjoy your past. Live Love and Thrive!! Enjoy this song and my dear readers, until later


Monday, September 28, 2009

Moving on

Sarah Dawn Finer, Swedish singer, with "Moving on"

"I'm moving on" is the hardest thing to say and do but once you have it is the most liberating feeling and breathing becomes much easier. Starting over is scary but it is sometimes needed. Free yourself from the shackles of despair and don't be afraid to start living again!! Until later darlings


Sunday, September 27, 2009

I am here, FINALLY!

After waiting for 4 hours for a phone call while cursing, pacing, and change of heart several times, M texts me to say that she is on her way (for the third time). Her birthday was on Thursday so we were supposed to have dinner around 8 or 9 pm Saturday night. I started getting ready around 6 pm. I took my time and my dad said he will drive me even though we live like 10 mins away walking distance. But with my heels I knew it would take me 30 mins to get to our destination, Fridays. Finishing my makeup and hair AND getting dressed, I waited and waited and waited. I heared one excuse after the other and around 10.30 I was on my way. I was not in the mood of eating anything and also I knew I was not "dressed for success" haha..I met up with M and her friends and sat down for a late dinner. We were six beautiful women at our table which drew a lot of attention. As we headed out to go to M's boyfriend's bar we passed the heart of downtown Stockholm, Stureplan. It was a Saturday night and people had just got paid. All the bars and clubs were crowded. I looked around at the people walking all over and realized my "fear" of not fitting in was gone. When I grew up here I stood out from the crowd, brunette and brown eyed girl in the midst of posh, blonde, and blue eyed people. In my simple outfit I stood out from the crowd of mini skirts, dresses, and revealing tops but I was no longer afraid of not fitting in, instead I was happy I didn't look like the rest. I grew up feeling like the ugly duckling but I guess my confidence found the swan in me. I could walk with my head held high and think, "Who the fuck do you think you are to make me feel unwelcome! I was born here and I have as much right to be here!! This is not the last you will see of me! I will be back, you can bet on it!" I don't know why I always felt I did not belong out clubbing with all the posh people but I can remember the feeling every time someone asked me to go out, anxiety. I am happy I went out last night instead of letting my anger get the best of me. I overcame something that other people may not think is of importance but to me it has been a major obstacle to overcome and I FINALLY DID IT!!! The best feeling in the world is to know your own worth and especially when it is GOOD!! The best tip I can give is to take the time to get to know yourself and hopefully you will realize your true value, which I can tell you is most likely a positive thing. If you have any doubts about your own value take a look at yourself, inside and out, find one thing you think is beautiful and accentuate it. After a while when you have learned to love that part, find a new part and do the same. Keep doing this until you love every aspect of you, Your body, mind, and soul! You are unique and once you realize it nothing can stand in your way! The world will be at your feet haha!! Ok, now that I have been overchanneling Dr. Phil I am gonna take Nala out to get some exercise, for both of us. Until later sweet, and unique readers
Love yourself and the world will love you back

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Beautiful, just beautiful...

Beautiful Jordin Sparks and wonderful song!! Enjoy lovers of life..until later


Monday, September 21, 2009

Royal Pains

I really miss Los Angeles!! It's the second episode of Swedish Hollywood Wifes and one of the wifes was on a date with a millionaire (set up by an agency that matches girls with millionaires) and they were in the helicopter flying over LA and it is BEAUTIFUL!!! I love their conversation over dinner, they were talking about how people in LA are not who you think they are and it is hard to meet good, honest friends which is so true. Speaking of shows there is a show that I have fallen for really hard, Royal Pains. It is a show about a doctor who lost his job at the hospital he worked at in New York. What is the remedy according to his brother? Well, drive to the Hamptons and try to live the luxerious life they want. Of course they crash some rich guy's party and ACTION DOCTOR!! He immediately, but reluctantly, becomes the "doctor for hire" of the rich. After falling for a beautiful woman , the administrator of the local hospital. It is an interesting and funny show to watch. The chemistry between the brothers is amazing so I give my full hearted consent!!! If you haven't seen it then I suggest you give it a shot...Until later


simply wonderful

As most of you know already, I love Ne-Yo. This is some guy with a really nice voice that is singing one of Ne-Yo's songs "Because of you". This song brings back many memories...happy and sad...but enjoy this guy's (calls himself on, boyceavenue)voice!!!

Until later darlings


Sunday, September 20, 2009

Love love love

Here is another song I wanted to share with you...really good by the smooth singer Jay Sean and rapper Lil Wayne...DOWN

(Love the chorus!! Find a man/woman who feels that way about you and never let go because they are rare !!!)

Enjoy and until later music lovers....


I like

Flipsyde is a good artist and so is this song...good feeling when listening to this song...enjoy people


sleeping problem

I woke up by my mom playing very loudly with Nala in my bed and my sister telling my mom I snored soooo loud last night. I can say, with absolute certainty, that the whole house had a snore fest last night. Instead of crying over this accusation I researched what the cause of me starting to snore may be. I read that gain weight can be a cause (I have definitely gained weight), stop working out is a cause (I have done so as well), eating unhealthy is a cause (can you spell junk in my diet haha), drinking and smoking (innocent on these charges), stuffed nose (check!)...not only have I started to snore, I have been grinding my teeth a lot lately...signs of frustration and anxiety anyone? Anyways, I have noticed that no matted how long I sleep I am constantly tired!! It doesn't matter if I slept for 8, 9, or 10 hours, I am always tired. Even my face and body are showing signs of fatigue!! I need to shape up, go to bed early against my own will, workout more, and STOP eating junk!!! This is on my to do list until my problem is solved, that is a promise to myself!! I will leave you with this for now..until later


Saturday, September 19, 2009

Change my hair

Sitting on my couch watching TV while a certain someone is next to me snoring and Nala is on my other side sleeping and dreaming. Her kicking and crying noises are just adorable!!! I was reading articles about how the pet has become a substitute for a family or part of the family. In the olden days the dog was not treated the same way as we treat our pets today. I know Nala was the substitute for friends and family when I was alone in LA. She is my best friend and my little baby...Today someone was chasing Nala around trying to fart but as soon as the butt would get close Nala would literally run away or hide haha. It was hilarious to see and that only hightened the chase for the person running after Nala haha...
(Cool cat in her pink hoody hahah..Love this baby!! check out the loong is becoming a I have to spend hours filing because the nerve grew with the nail which means no cutting wout bleeding...pain)
(Here is a picture of a monkey who has adopted this tiger and its siblings. The monkey lost its baby and the tigers lost their moma so now they are a happy family...sooo adorable!!)

Changing the subject, today I took Nala with me to M. and the hair salon, Baresso. I went there to dye my hair, my roots were showing. I used to have chocolate brown and was really happy with the color because it felt fresh and summery, also it gave me a nice glooow hahaha...anyways, I went there only to find M. busy giving her boss a nice hair massage. It looked really nice if it wasn't for the look on M's face, bored and tired. Her boss is an ASS!!! Every time I go there to visit M. I feel like I am invading his personal space. Funny thing is that M. wanted me to work there but I knew if I would spend one day with him at the salon I would flip out!!!! So he is sitting there acting like the king of the world, and I had Nala with me, when I spoke english with her he was like; why is she speaking english with the dog? M. explains that I have spent the last 4 years of my life in LA. He "calls" me over and he is like: uhm, what did you study? did you get your masters? I look at him and answer no I got my bachelor. He looks at me as if I was speaking Urdu and says; "uhm, why did it take you that long?" SAY WHAT BITCH!!! He continues, "I could get my masters in 2 years"...So I smiled and asked where he studied and how long, he says "college in Florida for 2 years". There is no EFFING college you can get your bachelor degree and masters from in 2 years as an international student. He thinks he is soo smart when he says "well, I used to take 12-15 units". This is where I simply said, "well I took 12-18 units per semester, plus I took some summer and winter classes. If it wasn't for my counselors giving me and S. the wrong classes to take the first semester I would have finished one semester earlier but still no effing way do you get your masters wout having a bachelors degree in 2 years"...dream on bad that good look of his goes to waste!!! after she washed his hair, dried and flat iron it she could start on mine. She put the dye on and left for a smoke break, which lasted for 30 mins, this means that my hair is no longer chocolate brown but dark red/brown!!! My mom just looked at it and shook her head, but then again she always does that and a couple of days later she likes the look...I know it is dark but a couple of washes and it will be lighter...We will see what my mom will say when I go to the hairdresser on Monday to cut my bangs and trim my hair, it has been a loooong hair is crying for some spaaaa....anyways my tap tap tap on the laptop is making noise and waking the sleeping people of the house so until next time...


Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Beautiful insight

H. send this to me and it is so true and inspiring...take a few minutes to read will feel better..until later lovelies


Monday, September 14, 2009

Glam life?

Welcome back!!! I know the internet company said that there will be construction which means that our connection will be disturbed but we had no connection for several days...As I felt crippled I also felt liberated. We forget how liberating it can feel without technology, granted at first it is a scary feeling, like something is missing but after a couple of days it does not matter as much. I noticed that I started hanging out with my family more and solving crosswords and so on (I come off as a dork haha but I love it). I have come to the conclusion that if all technology was stripped from me for a month it would not be too bad at all. I would get withdrawal symptoms but they would disappear after a day or so. This could actually be a good show! To strand young people somewhere with no technology or electricity for a month and see what they can accomplish. I think if done well it will be hit show...anyone wanna do it, but since it is my idea I demand to be a part of it and get paid for it hahaha...Speaking of shows I was watching the first episode of Swedish Hollywoodwives and OH MY GOD!!!!! I was appalled by one of them and laughed at another. The only "normal" one was the single mom. Paul Anka's wife really made me sick. She was reading her horoscope where it said that someone is jealous of her position. She looks into the camera and says; of course people are jealous of me and my life, why wouldn't they be. I mean I know she is (points to the nanny to the back of the jet). I know she wants what I have and she is thinking 'wow what a life she is living'. She makes 16000 dollars a year, I mean I put 16000 on makeup in one month hahahaha....UGH this is not the worst thing she said but it was crazy and when she told her husband, Paul Anka, that the nanny is jealous of her he said; oh knock it off, and "slapped" her with the newspaper. Whenever she would talk it would be about her diamonds, her wealth, the fact that she cannot choose to stay at home but is "forced" to go with her husband on tours or conserts a duty as celebrity wife. To ridicule the nanny in her presence was just disgusting. She made fun of people that are fans of her husband, she would say things like; "you can't tell they are rich because look at them and they are so ridiculous, I am ebarrassed hahahaha" UGH!!! Can you tell that she got on my nerves? haha but it will not stop me from watching next episode, sad...just sad..Well it is getting late and I need to wake up early for an early lunch (11.30 am) with Y. Goodnight and Until later darlings... (the picure of the third wife is nowhere to be found)

Thursday, September 10, 2009

New header pic!

What do you think of the new picture? I was contemplating between the header picture and this Calvin Klein pic...which one do you prefer?

This ad is beautiful as well exhuberates raw sexuality while the header pic is softer and as stated romantic. I chose the romantic because I have the perfume (since High School) and I like the soft touch to it. I hope you like my choice..until later fashionistas


say what?

I was sitting reading the online newspaper and came across an article about this famous swedish, 18 year old, blogger. She is the biggest blogger in Sweden and runs her own company. She has shot in to fame after her blogging and now I read that she is going to NY to interview celebs on the red carpet for the VMA's. She is the substitute for another girl, 18 years old, who got sick and had to cancel the trip. There is such hype between these two girls, one swedish and wealthy, the other moroccan making her own living. The morrocan girl is a known Tokio Hotel fan, she writes in her blog about how she travels with her friend across the globe in order for her to get to their concerts. She recently held an interview with Tokio Hotel, right before she got sick. Reading their blogs and the articles in the newspaper I wonder what these girls have that not too many do. They are both very young but business minded. I wonder how they have become somewhat of celebs in Sweden, soon to be international I suppose. Not only to they make money on different jobs but their blogs are worth 6 figure. I read their blogs and other non famous blogs and must say that the non famous ones are much better. What do they have to do to get to that level? I mean I know you can make money on your blog (I don't if you wanted to know haha) but the amount they make is just ridiculous! Anyways, I have forgotten why I started writing about them so I am just going to change the subject. I have been thinking about writing a book. I come up with these things when I am about to go to sleep, somehow my brain works faster and better when I am about to fall asleep but for no use because I fall asleep and forget why my idea sounded so good the previous night. Back to the book thing, I have the title and I think I am actually going to write it. I have to gather enough material and put it on paper so that I can print it out on the computer. All I can say is that it has to do with my mother. When I have more on this I will get back to you..Until later fellow writers and readers


Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Mr Perfect

In Sweden 09-09-09 has passed and with it my brother's 28th birthday. I wonder how the years have passed so was not long ago me and my brother were playing cops and thieves...Nala turned 3 years this month as well...On December 7th I will have had her for 3 years..time flies! In two months it is my sister's 14th birthday! I was 11 when she was born and she has been like a tail on my butt since haha...she will hate to read this..sorry D. but it is the truth!!

I was watching Nala tucking herself to sleep, it was soo funny. I hope she will be with me for MANY MANY more years!! She is hilarious....She gets under the covers herself and she refuses to sleep without her tiny stuffed giraffe. She likes to keep it in her mouth and cry and if I take it away from her she will not go to sleep. Just like a little baby. I think that my mom is ready for grandchildren because she definitely treats Nala as if she was a real baby haha...Speaking of wishing for grandchildren my mom keeps trying to set me up ("in a subtle manner"). The ones that come to mind at this hour are; the priest's son that she really likes and there is an eye doctor that works at the same clinic as her eye doctor. She came home after an appointment and said:
MOM:"Oh you should have been there. I saw this wonderful man and all I could think about was how perfect he is for you"
ME: "mhm..ok mom..sure...maybe he is taken?"
MOM: "So! I didn't see a wedding band on his finger"
ME: "mhm ok mom. He might have a girlfriend or boyfriend..did that occur to you?"
MOM: "Oh hush..If he is not married he is still on the market and he is not gay!"
ME: "I refuse to break up a relationship. If someone is taken whether they are married, engaged, or dating they are off limits. It should be respected. I mean it is hard for some people to just be in a relationship and they do not need to be exposed to more temptation than they can handle. Besides I refuse to be the home wrecker"
MOM: "This is so typically you. Why are you blowing this out of proportion. I am just saying he was really good looking. He had big blue eyes, blonde hair, tall like your brother, well build, small nose and he is a doctor. What else could you want?"
ME: "He sounds dreeaammyyy (sarcastic) could think you want him for your self"
ME: "I was just joking..well anyways I was not with you and you are not going back so forget about it."
This is where it gets good. I felt like I was in the movies with the overbearing mothers desperately trying to get their daughters married off to some big shot.
MOM: "I think we should go down there and sit there until he comes out. We can pretend I have an appointment and then realize I don't. OH Or we can make up a reason, like something is wrong with your eyes so get you to see him." and so she continues and I stop listening..
ME: silence.....
I knew my mother was great at matchmaking and manipulating but my lord I have never heard her say anything like this. She kept saying:" All I kept thinking was, if only my daughter was here...he is perfect for her"
Ugh, my mother does not think of being in a relationship because of feelings. She thinks of it as being in a relationship in order to be comfortable. This are her criteria: he should have the looks (which means colored eyes, blonde hair, small nose, nice smile, good teeth), height, good family, great status (work wise), not too many sisters (she has 7 sisters in law), kind, generous, sense of style, be humble, not too loud and "in the face", and the list goes ooonnnnn...If you have all these qualities and your friends think you have these qualities let me know haha...I do not think this man exists but she can keep wishing and hoping....oh haha
I have to go put Nala back in bed because she is walking around with her toy, crying, waking the whole house. Until later ambitious ones


Another scam?

I was awakened by an aussie speaking voice. Hellau this....I em colling yau ebout yaur cv bla bla bla....he askes me if I know what I have applied for and I choose to be honest and say NO hahaha..I applied for the job at 3 am and did not think that they would be the first to call. I do not know why I even applied because it is some sort of international sales. I guess I was drawn to the fact that I would be working while speaking English, something I have not done in quite some time. When he found out I had no idea about the job he gave me his number and asked me to look in to it and if I am still interested I should call him. WARNING FLAG went off in my head. Listen I have been through one scam too many and was not going to fall in to another. I took his advice and did some research, I did not have to dig deep at all!! I googled the company and the first thing that popped up was SCAM! So I am happy he asked me to do research, if had not and I would just call well then I would be stuck in hell as some people described it. The name of the company is Marcus Evans. I do not know if it is true but I refuse to take a chance to get screwed over in any way. If you have heard of this company and have other things to say feel free to leave a comment or if you have anything to say to back up the statement above then please leave a comment so it will prevent people of falling in to a scam that will waste precious time...Well, now the job hunting must go on so until later darlings..


Monday, September 7, 2009


I am obsessed with somethings odd...First thing is Sudoku. I can sit for hours and solve one puzzle after the other. Usually I sit next to my dad and we both sit and solve Sudoku in silence. It feels soo good when I have solved a really hard one, I feel like I accomplished something great even though it is something small haha. The other thing I am obsessed with is Deal or No Deal. Now you might think, "well what is soo odd about that?" here is the twist, it is in Turkish hahaha...I do not understand a word but I still sit there with my mom on the sofa every day watching the people, that are really familiar by now, cry, laugh, sing, dance and make jokes. Of course my mom has to translate what is happening but the funny thing is that in the States I thought this game was ridiculous and did not understand the rules. Now they are crystal clear (in a foreign language oddly enough). There is one of the "box openers" (don't really know what they are called haha) that looks like Ty Pennington from Extreme Makeover Home Edition. Interesting enough that the things I am obsessed with involves my parents! Deal No Deal is on right now so I am gonna see if it is going to be like yesterday, where the poor fellow left with only 50 TL (which is not a lot at all), or if we will have a winner tonight. After Deal No Deal I am going to watch Pirates Of the Caribbean feat some of my favorite actors..yeay Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom and of course Keira Knightly and sooo many more!! Until later darlings...

(He kind of looks like this, although we have not seen him without a shirt haha)


Saturday, September 5, 2009

Hard worker

I was watching I want to Work for Diddy a while ago and was marveled. Before I saw the first episode I was thinking that whoever got the chance to work for P. Diddy is one lucky son of a B. but after the first episode I feel sorry for them. It is CRAZY to work for him. We know that some celebrities feel that they are better than others but DAMN!!!I know that P. Diddy takes care of his employees and working for him will open doors us mere mortals only dream of! One of his assistants worked for 5 years and had 10 days off, all in all...CRAZYYYY.....Best of luck to all the people trying to work for ambitious people like P. Diddy, you guys will make it..well as long as you do your job good that is. There is one contestant on the first season that is already bugging me like never before, Kim "Poperah". I like it when you do your job good and you lead your team to success but acting like an effing Diva the first thing you do...UGH!!!! Good luck to her team...Until later



This is a good Swedish band, with "As You Die" their songs..hear them out and see what you think...enjoy!


Wednesday, September 2, 2009

so tired

My eyes are effing each other from all the online work I have been doing. By online work I mean of course looking for jobs and applying..I am so sick of my screen but I have to keep going until I have a bloody job. I miss writing and doing some fun online stuff (no you naughty people..I mean reading friend's blogs, reading stupid things, watching shows online, and enjoy time on youtube)...My mom thinks I am just sitting by the computer relaxing so every day it's "Are you not sick of the computer? Can you do something other than sit by your computer? Do you have to type on the keyes? what are you going to do with your life when all you do is sit by the computer? is your head not hurting from sitting in front of that screen? are you going to do something with your life? are you going to do something with you life? are you going to do something with your life?" I think you get it haha...this is what I say "aha...mmm...yea...hmm...uhu... ....yeahhh...aahhhh" That, ladies and gentlemen, is what has been going on in my life....and oh before I forget, I also get the daily dose of "are you not getting Facebook? When are you getting Facebook? I think you should get Facebook" My answer is NO I WILL NOT GET EFFING FACEBOOK..ESPECIALLY BECAUSE YOU ASK ALL THE FREAKING TIME SO STOP! No more Facebook, who is with me?!! Just kidding...if you wanna have Facebook then go right ahead and if you don't then it's your just leave me wanna get a hold of me then shoot me a text or all have my darn email so instead of logging in to Facebook you can log in your email and send me an email...same thing...anyways I think I am getting overly frustrated because of this computer so before I go on another tantrum....
...I am signing out!! adios...until later