AMOR VINCIT OMNIA ~ LOVE CONQUERS ALL!

Friday, March 13, 2009

They freak me out!!!

If there is one thing you need to know is I have severe Arachnophobia....When I see a spider I start panicking and hyperventilating. My first instinct is to run but with no other choice but to stay I start shaking and crying.
S. was gonna clean the balcony yesterday but when she tried to pick up the garbage can, filled with water, she pulled her back, leaving her in severe pain. I thought since I have nothing to do I might as well just clean it today. It started ok but when I started sweeping I saw something go back and forth. I took a closer look and freaked out. It was a SPIDER...I knew I had to kill it because Nala was out on the balcony and I don't want her to get hurt so I got the bug spray. It took a couple of seconds before I grew a pair and started spraying. I don't know how I managed to keep spraying. The thing didn't die at once but kept crawling. I literally thought I was going to pass out. Now everything looks like it's crawling and it is itching all over my body. Just writing about this is hard. Not only are my hands shaking but as I write about it I see it all in front of me...People say I am silly for being scared of these creatures and in fact they are more scared of me than I am of them. I seriously doubt that, I do not see them panic and run away when they see me, au contraire, they come towards me!!! I have been really scared of bugs as long as I can remember but only grossed out by all other bugs while spiders actually freak me out!!! S. asked me what I would do if I live by myself and had no one to remove the spiders. I simply told her" "the spider has a new place to live because I will leave".

One time when my sister was about 4 years old, I was sorting laundry at home and noticed a small black spider crawl in the bag. I freaked and ran out. My mom was not home so no one could kill the thing. I looked at my sister and told her to kill it. She refused to. I stood outside the bathroom where the bag was, not being able to physically move. I started laughing hysterically, as I always do when I am really scared or nervous. I kept pushing her toward the bathroom but she was determined not to go. What I forget to tell you is that she was 4 and I was 16!! She laughs at me about it as often she can. We both stood on the carpet in the hall waiting for my mom to come home.

Another spider incident was when I was sitting in my brother's room watching TV. I saw something crawl down from nowhere (you know like the small ones do). I screamed and before I knew it I took the remote and slammed it down on the bed and ran out. I forced my dad to search the whole room (mind you the spider looked like a small dot). Of course he found nothing at all. I went back to the room and lifted the remote. It started crawling, sending me out screaming for my dad. He came to the room and when he saw the size of the spider he started laughing. He took the spider while laughing, looked at me and said "you are too funny!!!" turned and walked away.

Another incident was when I was with my ex and S. We were in his car on our way home from miniature golfing when I saw something crawl on the window on MY SIDE. I start panicking, trying to take my seat belt off, go to the back of the car. Of course he would not let me move because we were on the freeway. When he noticed how scared I was, he exited and pulled the car over. I ran out of the car and said I will not get in the car unless the thing is out. S. and him looked all over when they finally said it was out. I hesitated to get back in but I was nowhere close to my house so I had to get back in. I calmed down and when we were close to our house I just heard my ex yell at me to get out. I was shocked and he kept yelling at me to get out. When I saw another spider there was no need to tell me again. I got out and this time I refused to get back. He laughed, told me to get in and I do not remember what happened after that.

Another time I was doing laundry with S. in our first apartment in Glendale. We were walking to our door, me first. In front of me, dangling from the lamp above our apartment door, was a white spider. I was holding an IKEA bag and when I saw the spider that bag flew back and I ran to the other side of the building. At first S. was laughing but when she found no way of killing it she got serious. She tried to spray it but more spiders came falling down. I started crying and told her there was no way I was going back home. I told her I would sleep outside. It took 2 hours to make me move and finally get inside. Every time I got closer to the door I started crying and seeing the spider in front of me, even though S. had killed it. After that I could not walk in and out of the apartment without panicking.

At school I was in class and this girl had a speech when I saw a spider crawl on the desk next to mine. I tried not to make any noise at all because my teacher was a total bitch so she probably would have yelled at me haha (this was last semester by the way). The speech took FOREVER! I almost told her to shut up and rap it up but had to bite my tongue. My teacher noticed my fidgeting and whispering to my friend so she asked what was going on. When I told her and explained my fear she had someone take it away. One girl was like "oh, no don't kill it! Remove it outside in the hallway". My instinct was to slap her silly and tell her to eff herself. What do you mean hallway?! I have to walk there!!! My friend took the spider, freaking me out, and released it outside on one of the trees. I was so relieved it was nowhere in sight. I thought people were gonna laugh at me but most understood except the "free spidey" girl.


(Where is my prince to save me from the spiders?!)

I have many more stories about my lovely spider incidents but I do not want to bore you. Now I will remain on the sofa until the girls come home...Until later
xoxo

1 comment:

  1. I'm RIGHT THERE WITH YOU on this one!!! As you might already know, I am EXTREMELY aracnophobic and have been known to have panic attacks when encountering a hairy, leggy black creature. I don't know why us girls are so easily scared by something that is often harmless, I guess it's just because of how they look and the fact that they just SHOW UP on your wall (or in your shower...) when you least expect them. However, I think we'd better get over this phobia, as it has the power to ruin your life, or at least your vacations! How to get over it? No idea.

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